A response to my previous post....

I have a good friend that happens to live 3 houses down from me.  She's a blogger and I mean she's a BLOGGER!  www.bonkdown.blogspot.com She has been given the gift of writing.  She has words and she has a lot of words!  Her words are her form of therapy and her form of going out for a drink.  She has great well behaved kids and I seek her opinion often.  She was the first friend I had when I moved here.  When I walked into her house for the first time it was kinda like being in my own house excluding a lot of family pics on the walls (she hates pics of herself where I love pics of myself :-)).  We have a lot in common yet we are completely different people.  Anyway, she caught me in the middle of an emotional day.  She knocked on my door; I saw her and started crying.  Not common for anyone to see me cry.  Her visit helped me, it made me realize I'm not crazy.  It's okay for Crazy Frankie to come out now and again.  It's okay to admit I'm in the thick of toddler tantrum hell.  She says everyone SAHM goes through this and it's okay!  This is what she writes.....

I read my friend Frankie's post today.  http://lilytalk.blogspot.com/  It's called, "Okay, Let's Be Honest."

I'm not even sure I read the whole thing. I mostly skimmed the last part, but it moved me enough to call her, say "Don't move . . I'm coming down" and Mimi and I walked in her door only a few minutes later. Crazy bitch that she is, she tried to pick up her son and hide behind a trendy cute hat to avoid me. But I said, "Put down the baby." And I laid a full frontal "I'm not boob-phoebic" bear hug on her.

I'm not sure my visit helped anything . . . but I know this:

Being a stay at home (or work from home) mom is the very hardest job I have ever had.  And she's right.  It sometimes does make you feel tired, unsexy, ugly, fat, homely, sometimes underchallenged and pent-up.   Mmm-hmm.  Absolutely.   It's like the military, deployment, hazard duty -- but with no pay and no thanks.   It can be infuriating.  There's no sense of completion or done-ness because there is always a dishwasher to load (or unload), laundry to do, stuff to pick up, a meal to prepare, or an errand to run.  I know it's okay to miss work and crave a break -- only to get a tiny window of time alone, and think about nothing but your snot-nose, whiny, but ever so adorable offspring. 

We've all had a mommy meltdown.  Anyone who denies it is lying through their teeth.   The trick, I think, lies in surrendering to your role.  Not to your kids.  To your role.

Some stay at home or work from home momma do cope with things better and/or differently.   Frankie has a pretty strong social network of moms whose kids are all about the same age.  But even with that . . . the reality is that YOU are the only one who knows YOUR home.  You're the only one that butts heads with your toddler, picks up the pieces at the end of the day, picks the battles to fight & wishes like hell that you had a husband at home for a tiny sliver of relief.  I happen to identify with Frankie's spousal situation pretty intimately -- having a spousal unit in that same field, gone all the time and on-call every minute he was home.  Planning is impossible and can be summed up like this, "sure, plan it . . but have a back up plan."  I can remember so, so, so many nights when I sat in bed with 3 kids that never slept and rocked them and cried with them, because it was all I had left.  And I can remember thinking, "I really didn't want to be a single mom!!"  This season shall pass . . . . it's not over or easier . . just different!

Anyway, Frankie . . and any other momma out there who identifies with that post . . . . hang in there!  There's a light at the end of the tunnel.  You are taking part in the oldest, best and very most important profession in the WHOLE world.  The fabulous little citizens you'll turn out will someday dazzle you with their brillliance and bring tears of pride to your eyes.  It's only survival mode for a little while!

Ok let's be honest now.....

I may have hit a blogging wall but I have hit many other walls this past month.  I have broken down more times then I can count.  Yelling, screaming, crying and more crying.  And with tears flooding down my face I realize something.

I'm the happiest I have ever been yet I feel a level of emptiness.  It's hard to explain.  And I don't quite understand it yet.

If I look back at the past 5 years that might explain some of it.  My Dad was diagnosed with cancer,  got married 3 weeks later, he died 6 months later, I moved away from home, I got pregnant, had Pickle, got pregnant again, had a lot of financial stress, put our house on the market, had Peanut, more financial stress and now Big D has a new job.  That might not seem like a lot to some but for me, a person who doesn't like change, it's a lot!

As happy as I am that D's has been given a great opportunity.  I'm also sad because we aren't moving back home.  I always thought I would be here for under 5 years.  I have made some really great friends however; I often feel alone here.

I'm sure a lot of people are tired of my "I lost my Dad pity party" but it's been so hard for me.  Since my Dad's diagnosis of lung cancer I have never been the same person.  I know, I know, it happens and it really sucks and life goes on.  But I feel like a part of my heart is missing.  That's the only way I can explain it.  As much as my heart has grown from my two precious angles I still have a missing piece of my heart.

And this is the hardest thing to admit.  I'm in the middle of stay at home hell!  Don't get me wrong, I love love love love love love my kids.  My kids have brought so much happiness to our lives.  They are like a breath of fresh air.  They give me the opportunity to rediscover myself and to parent the way I wish I was parented.  Let me clarify, I do love staying at home with them.  But staying at home has been the most challenging thing in the world.  It's not what I ever imagined.  When Oprah says "stay at home Moms have the hardest job" she is right.  I'm not going to discredit working Mom's but I will say, there were a few times this last month I thought "I just want to go back to work to escape the toddler insanity".  Everyday I go head to head with Pickle.  She has the worst power struggles with me.  She is exactly like me which explains a lot.  When you stay at home, it's the same thing almost everyday within moderation.  I look forward to my 2hr time slot at the gym to just have a break.  Your job never ends, it's 24hrs a day.  And a lot has changed with Big D's new job.  He is gone a lot more and I'm left alone from sun up to sun down.  I feel like my brain is rotting away.  I feel like I can't communicate normally.  NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK!  That's not what I'm saying.  All I'm saying is that it's the biggest transition I have ever made.  I never realized work helped me identify myself.  Work made me feel smart!  Work made me feel productive!  Work made me feel confident!  Work made me feel like I accomplished something at the end of the day!  And work made me feel pretty!

Last week I had a true Mommy meltdown.  Big D had been gone from sun up to sun down for the entire week and I was at my wits end.  Pickle was having tantrum after tantrum and Peanut was all over the place causing havoc.  I had only heard about Mom's freaking out on Oprah.  I never thought it could exist in me.  I freaked out!  I thought to myself, put the kids in a safe place and you gotta regroup fast.  So, I put Pickle in her room and told her to stay there and play until Mommy comes back and I put Peanut in his crib.  I ran to my room and started sobbing, uncontrollably crying!  Then all of a sudden I hear Pickle yell "MAMA, OKAY NOW.  I BE NICE.  NO SAD MAMA."  And then through all the salty tears running down my face I realized I gotta get my shit together and together fast.  I took a giant deep breath, wiped away the tears and went and got my babies and held them as close to me as humanly possible.    

I know I'm in the thick of the hardest times as a stay at home mom (SAHM).  I have a one year old and a two year old going on 16!  I'm still in survival mode.  I'm still trying to figure out the in's and out's of being a SAHM.  I'm still figuring out what works, what doesn't.  I'm realizing everyday P&P change, develop and grow into little people.  As they grow and change, I realize, I must change what I'm doing.  What worked yesterday, doesn't work today.  It might not get easier for a while but I do have the ability to learn something about myself.  I have the control to make it better and make it memorable.  It's a time in my life and theirs that will never be repeated.  And now that I have gotten all that off of my chest.  I take a deep breath, and I will make a conscious effort to just let myself be in the moment.  Laundry, cleaning, errands, organizing will all be there tomorrow.  But tomorrow they will be a day older and one day I will wish I could have this time back.

20 Ways to find happiness in your life.....

This is something I came across.  Not all things applied to me however; a few hit home.  I don't want to wake up one day and think "I should have"  or "I could have."   Like I always say....today is a new day!

Happiness is something everyone wants to achieve. While on the surface people may seem to be looking for money, recognition, or other things, what they actually seek is happiness. Unfortunately, many people never reach the level of happiness they desire. 

20 ways to find happiness in your life.

But, before we start, we should agree on something: our happiness is our responsibility. Your happiness is your responsibility. Don’t blame outside condition or other people if you’re not happy. While things around you could change and go bad, it is you who decide how you will respond to them. You can decide to be happy.

With that in mind, here are 20 ways to find happiness in life:

1. Stop comparing yourself with others

Comparing yourself with others won’t do you any good. You will either feel proud when you are above, or feel jealous and frustrated when you are below. None of them brings true happiness. So stop comparing yourself with others and simply be your best.

2. Count your blessings

There are so many things we should be grateful for, but we often forget them. When you realize how blessed you are, you will certainly be happier.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.Frederick Keonig

You can start with some simple things we take for granted.

3. Find your inner voice

To find true happiness, you must first find your inner voice. Slow down and take some quiet time for soul searching. What will make your life meaningful? What is true happiness for you? By knowing what your heart says, it will be easier for you to align with it.

4. Reconnect with your childhood dreams

Your childhood dreams can give you clues about your true calling. So discover them and reconnect with them. Get them back into your life. Childhood dreams are important!

5. Help someone

Giving is an essential key to happiness. While we often think that we will be happier when we receive, the truth is we are happier when we give. This is also one of the most difficult things to apply.

6. Spend more quality time with your loved ones

Relationships give us happiness more than any material in the world. So spend more quality time with your loved ones. In such moments, be sure that you devote your attention to them. Divided attention (with your work, for example) will decrease the quality of the time.

7. Apply the five languages of love

Love is an important way to happiness, and the five languages of love is a helpful concept to help you apply love. By understanding yours and others’ languages of love, you will be able to build better relationships.

8. Appreciate nature

The beauty of the nature can give you peace. Go out and see how beautiful the nature is. Watch how the birds sing and the sun shines, and let you be happy once again.

9. Pray or meditate

This is one of the most effective ways to calm your mind and get inner happiness. When you feel overwhelmed, a session of praying or meditation could help you clear your mind.

10. Know yourself

You will be happier if you understand who you are. Taking personality tests or drawing a simple life map could help you recognize who you are.

11. Say thank you

Sometimes we are so accustomed to people around us that we forget to thank to them. So take a little time to do that.

12. Smile

Smiling is a very simple thing to do, and yet it has great effect. There mere act of smiling can brighten your otherwise dark day.

13. Listen more than you speak

You will feel happier not only by understanding yourself, but also by understanding the people around you. One simple way to do that is by listening more than you speak. Try to understand what the other person means before speaking out your thoughts.

14. Stop judging others

Judging others will give you bad feeling toward them and there’s nothing good about that. Instead, you should look at the positive side of them. Sometimes it’s easier to see the others’ weaknesses, but looking at the positive side will brighten their day and your day.

15. Focus on what you can control

Trying to change things beyond your control will only frustrate you. Recognize what you can and can’t control, and focus solely on the things you can control. For instance, you can’t change how people around you behave, but you can change yours. So focus on changing your own behavior instead of changing theirs.

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.Epictetus

16. Forgive yourself

Have you done mistakes in the past? We could be intimidated by our past mistakes that we can no longer live to our full potential. But you aren’t perfect, and neither is anyone else. So forgive yourself and release the burden.

17. Forgive others

Besides forgiving yourself, you should also forgive other people who did wrong to you. Not forgiving them will only hurt you. Again, you should release the burden so that you can find happiness.

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.
Robert Muller

18. Accept yourself

You may have some personality traits that you don’t like. For instance, perhaps you are an introvert and you wish you are an extrovert. Or you wish you were born in a different background. This is one thing you can’t control (see #15), so just accept yourself as you are. You are unique, and that’s something you should be grateful for.

19. Know how to deal with problems

Problems will always come your way, so your happiness depends not on whether or not you have problem, but on how good you deal with them. Knowing how to stay calm and how to overcome failure will be helpful.

20. Be a promise keeper

You will find happiness if you stay true to your heart and one way to do that is by being a promise keeper. The more you keep your promise, the more you will be aligned with your conscience and the happier you will be.

http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/03/19/finding-happiness-20-ways-to-achieve-happiness-in-life/

The wall I'm famous for....

I've hit another wall.  The blog wall.  Lately, I have felt like I'm spread thin.  I have been busy playing Mommy, Photographer, Entrepreneur (sounded good), Make-up Artist, Friend, Best Friend, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Godmother, Cousin, Niece, Daughter in Law, Sister In Law, and Wife.  Not sure I can add blogger to the list.

However; you can check out my latest photography sessions at www.gwinnerphotography.blogspot.com

Easter Coloring....

Since having kids, holidays have a new meaning.  It's so much fun to re-experience the holidays through their eyes.  It's given me a new perspective on families and togetherness.

Pickle being the particular one was very concerned about how her eggs were colored and organized.  Peanut was dying to get to the eggs.  When he finally got ahold of the colored eggs he went nuts.  He started throwing the eggs on the floor and laughing hysterically.  Then before I could get over to him, he was squishing eggs in his hands watching them crack and explode.  The differences between boys and girls!

Happy Easter!

For those born between 1925-1970ish.....

 WE ARE AWESOME !!!
OUR LIFE IS LIVING PROOF !!!

To Those of  Us  Born 
1925 - 1970 :
 At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read any thing else, please  
read what he said.
 
Very well stated, Mr. Leno.
~~~~~~~~~
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930s, '40s, '50s, '60s and '70s!! 
 
First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank
while they were pregnant.
 
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
 
Then, after that trauma, we were
put to sleep on our tummies
in baby cribs covered
with bright colored lead-based paints.
 
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets,
a nd, when we rode our bikes,
we had baseball caps,
not helmets, on our heads.
 
As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes..
 
Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft dri nk with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight. 
WHY?

Because we were always outside playing...that' s why! 
  
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.
--And, we were OKAY.
 
We would spend hours building
our go-carts out of scraps..
and then ride them down the hill,
only to find out we forgot the brakes.. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
 
We did not have Play Stations, Nintendos and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
no video movies or DVDs,
no surround-sound or CDs,
no cell phones,
no personal computers,
no Internet and no chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS
 and we went outside and found  them!
  
We fell out of trees, got cut, 
broke bones and teeth, 
and there were no lawsuits 
from those accidents.
 We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand, and no one would call child services to report abuse. 
  
  We ate worms, and mud pies 
made from dirt, and 
the worms did not live in us forever. 
 
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and   
-although we were told it would happen- we did not put out very many eyes. 
  
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. 
 
 Little League had tryouts 
 and not everyone made the team. 
Those who didn't had to learn 
to deal with disappointment. 

Imagine that!!  
  
 The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!  


These generations have produced some of the best  risk-takers, 
 problem solvers, and inventors ever. 


The past 50 to 85 years have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas.. 


We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of those born 
between 1925-1970, CONGRATULATIONS!  

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. 
 
 While you are at it, forward it to your kids, so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were. 
 
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ? 
~~~~~~~ 
The quote of the month  
by 
Jay Leno: 

 "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and w ith the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?" 

Amen !

Girls will be girls....

This was taken shortly after Dessa put a tub of Vaseline in her hair......

Boys will be boys....

Peanut....13months old.  This kid can EAT!

Hmm...should I worry???

Looks like she is taking control of the situation.  I wonder what they are cooking her?

This hurts me it's so cute....

Before I got to bed....

It's gotta be a mom thing.  Before I go to bed, I walk across the hallway and open P&P's doors.  I love standing at the edge of the crib/toddler bed.  I stand there until my eyes adjust to see their little belly's fill up with air.  I have kids that are fairly light sleepers, so I can't touch them without them rolling around and sometimes opening their eyes so, I just stand and wait to hear that deep breath in and out.  The sound of them sleeping is the most comforting sound and feeling.  Can't really explain it but it feels good!

My Dad used to say....

"If you don't have any expectations, you will never be disappointed".

"If someone talks to you about someone.....I guarantee they are taking about you to someone else".

Before/After

A fun effect....

Before/After....

Here I wanted to emphasize Peanut's lashes.....this is a antique bw....

Before/After....

This is my new photo editing software; it's an amazing program that works with CS4 (photoshop).  I LOVE black and white photos because it's almost impossible for the photo to ever look dated.  It's a classic look all of the time!  My biggest annoyance was converting to bw and for the people in the photo to look grey.  The face isn't grey here compared to most bw options.  

I also wanted a more dramatic effect with the photo.  Professional editing is very time consuming; definitely not for everyday shots.  But well worth it in the end for your favorite shots!  

Conversation goes like this......

Me: "I used to be cute"
Big D: "What do you mean....your still cute in a mom kinda way."

Seriously?

Too close for comfort....

If it feels too close for comfort, it probabley is!  And once you open the door, it's hard to close.

I don't see you.....

My cousin was playing a game with Pickle....she would take her glasses off and say "I don't see you, I don't see you" then put her glasses back on and say "there you are."
A few days later Pickle, being the quick one that she is was eating dinner.  I told her to eat her broccolli and guess what she said to me....."mama, I don't see it, I don't see it, I don't see it."  Really?  Are two year old that quick?

Tracey, the other thing she is doing is washing every pair of glasses she can get her hands on.  Well, ring around the rosy.  

Dear God....

Pickle said "Dear God, thank you for strawberries."  That is honestly the cutest thing I have ever heard.  As my Dad would say "bless her little heart."

Happy 1st Little Peanut...

We celebrated Peanut's first birthday this past weekend with family.  Honestly, first birthday parties are just for the parents.  He could careless that there was a party for him.  Pickle was more excited for Bubba's birthday, she kept saying "Happy New Year Bubba."  It was cute to see how excited she was for the celebration which made up for his lack of interest.  He had no interest in opening presents and he definitely wouldn't touch his doggie cupcakes.  He was more interested in eating meatballs (he ate 5) then eating cake.  Really?  All that hard work for homemade dog cupcakes and he wouldn't even taste one?  His cousin and big sister handled opening all the presents and come to find out, he loved a big orange rubber ball the most!

It touched us to have a lot of our family here for the celebration.  It meant tons to us!  Thank-you all and we had a great time catching up! 

Lord,

Please grant me the patience, understanding and courage to deal with my strong headed, swift, demanding, inpatient, crafty toddler.

Mama stop talking...peas.....

The latest words out of Pickle's mouth...

"Mama, stop talking peas!"


"Daddy, no talk to mama."

We are washing our hands in a public restroom.  I said "Pickle the paper towels are ALL GONE" and Pickle says "mama EMPTY."

"Cool hat mama!"  Gotta love a girl that knows her style.

"I like to move it move it" and "shake it"  As her butt is wiggling and shaking.

"Mama mama mama, PEE PEE"  Where?  "In your bed....SHUCKS."  "SHUCKS mama AXE-EYE- DENT."


"Good morning SUGAR Daddy."  I call her and Peanut both sugars but she doesn't quite understand that Daddy's and sugar shouldn't be combined in the same sentence.

"No dark, no dark, no dark."  "Peas sunshine stay!"

She grabs Big D's nose and says "wiggle, wiggle, wiggle" while he is sleeping.

And the best one yet.....we are walking through Target (imagine that) and Pickle says as she is tickling Bubba's toes "HELLO STINKY BOY, HELLO STINKY BOY, HELLO STINKY BOY"  
I say to her "Pickle, Bubba isn't stinky."  And Pickle says "daddy no stinky, illy no stinky, mama no stinky but BUBBA IS STINKY."  I could hear people laughing across the aisles.  And I had a hard time keeping a straight face!

Dear Peanut,

You turned one today and I'm amazed at how quickly the year has gone.  I'm a very sentimental person when I think of you and Pickle growing up.  Yes, I know it's a wonderful thing however; I would love to keep you small forever!  I have been a Mommy now for 2 years and 4 months and can I just say.....It has changed me forever, it has given me a new perspective on life, it has helped me celebrate living, I was filled with sadness from loosing the life of my Dad and now feel blessed for gaining the lives of you two precious angels, I'm able to understand things better, it has made me a better person, it has made me slow down, it has taught me patience (I have more patience then I ever thought was possible), and most importantly it has made my heart grow even bigger then it already was.

You are a little bundle of love!  You have a sweet lovable nature, your sensitive, you love to be held (by Mommy), your a little bit of a Momma's boy (ahhh too bad), your always looking for your sissy, you have the biggest brown puppy dog eyes with lashes to die for, when you wake up from you nap your sister goes running into your room and you get the hugest grin on your face, you love your doggie Daisy but you don't like her to get too close, your scared of other people's dogs, we think you have a hallow leg because you can eat more food then your sister (you once ate a 6" meatball sub), when you laugh it makes you crack up, you have no interest in walking (why would you when I carry you everywhere because I'm chasing your sis), you love playing with cars and balls (proves to me it's genetic), you have an arm like your Dad's and you throw EVERYTHING, you are getting to me a bit more ornery yet your smile and sweet nature lets you get away with just about anything.

Even though you are one now, you are still my little baby boy.  I cherish you and count my blessings everyday.

Happy Birthday lil' man!

Double trouble......

He's going to do anything that she tells him to do.  She already bosses him and he adores her attention!

She's showing signs of hoarding.....

Have you seen the TV show on A&E...Hoarders?  It's appalling, it's nauseating, it gives me anxiety!  Do you think people on the show started like this when they were toddlers?

Make believe......

The developmental side of babies and toddlers has been absolutely amazing to me.  Pickle has always been an over achiever and Peanut is too much of a love muffin to worry about getting things done early.  I love having kids because it gives you an opportunity to be a kid.  You have to stop normal life, get on the floor, and just play, play and play.   If you are around 2 yr olds you will know this is a huge milestone.  Today, Pickle laid her monkey on a table.  Said "Monkey has a tummy ache,"  ran and got her Fisher-price Dr. kit, came back and starting taking Monkeys vitals.  How exited was I?????  We are one step closer to playing house!

A book worth reading.....

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel.  I read this book years ago in college.  And recently someone recommended it to me. I must revisit!

Agreement 1

Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Agreement 2

Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Agreement 3

Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Agreement 4

Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Somewhere new....

As much as I don't like change, I love change.  I'm a creature of habit with somethings in my life but with other things I can change daily.  We moved 80 miles away from my hometown.  It doesn't seem far, but to me it's really far!  I'm still friends with all of my jr. high/high school friends and if I may say....I have a ton of friends that I have gotten close with outside of high school.    I would have to say, I'm a pretty social person.  In my single life, I had plans all the time and in my married life with kids, I still have plans just different ones.  Anyway, I grew up in the Metropolitan area of my old city and moved to what seems like a really small city.  My newer city has a somewhat small town mentality.  There is a large military influence and a large religious influence.

I have only lived in this city for 3 years and the entire time I was thinking it would be temporary and that we would be able to move back to the big city within 5 years.  Well, plans have changed.  We have decided to stay in our new small city.  It feels a little safer, there isn't traffic, the cost of living is drastically lower (we were able to buy a house double the size that we would have been able to buy in the big city).  I have made a lot of Mommy friends, and a few really great friends.  Most of my new friends are in my same shoes, they are living a similar life, and most importantly they understand.  They are also new to this city.  As much as I miss my old city, it's just a hop, skip and a jump away.  I miss seeing my best friends more often but one thing I have to remember is they are just a phone call away.