Something that changed me forever......

Over a decade ago it was two weeks before my birthday I was having dinner with my two best friends.  I told them that I had a dream that I was killed in a car accident.  I explained that I was thrown out of a car and another car rolled on top of me.  The dream was so real, it's hard to explain.  I told them that I knew that I was going to die and that I needed them to tell my family that I was at peace with it.  It sounds so strange to write it down a decade later.  But I knew in my heart that it was going to happen.  It was very emotional for all of us that night.

It was the day of my birthday and I was at a Clinique meeting.  I came home from work to find my Dad standing at the front door.  I will never forget the look on his face.  He put his arm around me and said there was a message from Todd's parents.  I walked over to the answering machine and pushed play.  I collapsed to the ground when I heard Todd's dad's voice, he never said what happened but I already knew.  My Dad held me and I sobbed in his arms.

On my birthday, Todd was killed in a car accident due to drunk driving.  My dream/vision came true and he was thrown out of the car and his car landed on top of him.  The passenger walked away with only a few scratches.  At the time, we weren't dating but we were back and forth like young couples do.  The day before my birthday, I told Todd to stop calling me unless he fully wanted to get back together.  He was heartbroken but not ready to recommit.  I assumed he was out on my birthday drinking himself to oblivion.  I will never know.  I blamed myself for years and finally made peace with what happened.

A few weeks after Todd passed away, his Mom called me and asked me if I knew the code to his safe?  I didn't know the code.  It ended up being my birthday.  How ironic!

If you know me, you know I love my birthday.  And every year I was reminded of the horrible event.  Every year I prayed that Todd could give me my birthday back.  In 2000 my sister was pregnant with her youngest.  She was put on bed rest for quite sometime.  She went into emergency labor on my birthday and gave birth to (what seems to be an angel) Vanessa.  Another how ironic occurrence.  When Vanessa was a little girl (around 4-5) my sister asked her why she was born on my birthday?  Vanessa responded with "so she could be happy again."  She thinks Todd is her angel!

As my birthday approaches I will never ever forget Todd.  I will never forget my 7 years of dating him.  He touched my life in more ways then I could ever explain.  For all the people who knew Todd, they also know how unbelievable of a person he was.  He touched the lives of friends, family and my life forever!

Taadaaa.....

Pickle is a true girly girl.  My Mom always said I was a tom boy but I grew up to be a girly girl.  I like to say you get the best of both world with me, I love to go a week without a shower camping AND I love to be a girl.  Yesterday, I put a skirt on Pickle and she instantly twirled in a circle.  She's damn cute!  Oh, and the back of the skirt is tucked into her Dora panties.  Her butt is totally exposed!